I cannot focus anymore!

There, that's out of my system.

Do you know that feeling? I'm gonna be productive! I open up Youtube to play some movie soundtracks (because that helps me focus). I land on the homepage only to see a bunch of recommendations that have a single goal: Keeping me distracted!

And oh man, they know what they're doing over at Youtube. Can you guess what I did? Like every disciplined person I quickly searched for that music and went on with being productive. Yeah right, I clicked one of the recommendations thinking that I deserve that one video. One hour later and I've still haven't done anything really productive except for thinking. Let's view one more video, then I'm really going to start...

The mistake I made? Going into the candy shop on an empty stomach looking for healthy vegetables...

For years I've been consuming content in different ways. Small and large pieces of content. Tweets, Instagram photos, quotes, blogposts, Youtube video, books, ...

I've consumed information about programming, product management, personal development, ... And a lot more brainless entertainment then I would consider good for me.

But I'm feeling the side effects... So I had a good look at what's happening to me.

When it comes to myself, I'm caring less about the results in long term. All I care about is that next shot of instant gratification. Even now, when writing this, there's another Youtube video open. Just making sure my gratification bucket is neatly filled. And it's not only happening behind my desk. 2 years ago I ran 2 marathons in a single year. These days I'd rather look at another Youtube video/Netflix show then to put on my running shoes.

Am I addicted? Is this what addiction feels like?

How did I get this far? I used to love being able to deeply focus. Just loosing track of time and get stuff done. Even if it is some nasty Internet Explorer bug. These days I'm actually afraid of getting into that state. Why? Interruptions.

Over the course of my career I've been taking up more responsibilities. And like the saying goes: With great power comes great responsibility. Well, with great responsibility comes... more meetings. And other kind of interruptions. At least at a lot of workplaces.

All those interruptions take away my energy. It's the same energy that motivate's me to spend my evening running. Now all that energy levels says is: "You had a rough day, you deserve some time off."

Shame on me. It's my own fault. I allowed these things to happen. But no more.

So welcome. Welcome to my journey to reconquer my focus. Taking back control. And start creating... NOW!